Day 29 - The Rest Of The Story

Yet again, nature hath deliverred unto me a kick in the groin. And again, no flying for me today. So following a sim session this morning, I spent the day trying to catch up on my semester class load. One step forward, two steps back.
I also took the liberty of modifying the pictures on the blog. As you can see, I posted my uniform picture from my emergency medical service/rescue days under the heading of "Yesterday." Below that is a picture of a FedEx MD-11 bearing the title of "Tommorow." You get the idea. I'll be switching them up from time to time, and posting new pictures as I get them. Lest my beloved audience lack visual stimulation.
I want to say that I am thrilled at the comments I'm receiving from family and friends, past and present. I've received very pleasant surprises from long-lost folks, to include a few very special educators who, along with a few other select members of a very special serority, made a great investment in my future so many years ago. I assume that you know who you are. You, like the folks I'm meeting here at the airport, did more than you had to, and for that I am eternally grateful. I truly hope that I'm offering satisfactory returns on your investment, and I thank you for your continued support so many years after the fact. I've also been fortunate, through this blog, to renew certain family ties, and I'm certainly thankful for that. And last but not least, it's just a lot of fun for me to post these entries and to see your responses. Your collective inputs really do wonders to keep my spirits lifted, so keep it up!
Anyway, now that that is all said, we'll get down to business. Since there is nothing pertinent to report based on today's aeronautical/educational/social events, I'll offer a few trivialities, in no particular order, that have escaped previous posts. Enjoy.

-I keep my collared shirts that I wear each day on coat hangers, obviously. Ryan and I share a bathroom, and I've been known to accidentally leave a hanger clinging to the towel rack in the bathroom following my morning shower. Ryan hates this, and has verbalized this emotion. So instead of accidentally leaving one in the bathroom, I've taken to creatively placing several of them in strategic locations so as to create maximum annoyance and psychological impact. The most recent attack consisted of my hanging a staggered series of three coat hangers each on every other ring on the inside of the shower curtain. The discovery of this brilliant houseware hijacking was announced by a loud commotion, the bathroom door flying open, no less than a dozen wet hangers flying furiously into the hallway, and Ryan loudly declaring that my parents were not married.

-Ryan and several others have begun to continuously refer to me by the nickname, "Lloyd." In fact, there have been some pilots to transit the facility who now think that Lloyd is actually my given name. The moniker refers to Jim Carrey's Dumb and Dumber character Lloyd Christmas, the eccentric limo driver. Joey's daughter gave me that name during the events of Day 22 (described below), for various, obvious reasons. Not the least of these reasons is the point at which I turned around to verbally address my passengers, nearly terminating several mailboxes with extreme prejudice. If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk.

-On a related note to the above entry, anything that takes an excessive amount of time is declared by Ryan to be "slower than Lloyd Christmas." I'm not sure if this is an innocent play on words, or an allusion to my personality and flying style. The jury is still out.

-We have one, single housefly that has taken up residence in my mansion on the hill. I've dubbed him "Lazarus," because no matter how many times he is smashed, mutilated, or destroyed, a few mere moments later you will see another single fly emerge to terrorize the Alabama airspace. The name has caught on with my fellow inhabitants. Please email me if you know where kryptonite can be purchased for a reasonable price with very few questions asked.

-We have also initated theme meal days among the pilots. Examples include: "Chinese Wednesday," "Chili Dog Thursday," and "Chic-Fil-A Friday." ***Note: Chili Dog Thursday was discontinued by command decision of Captain Joe (your's truly) following the backlash of its coincidence with Aerobatic Thursday.

-I found a jet in my backyard. Apparently Joey took a shining to the aircraft portrayed in the Charlie Sheen comedy Hot Shots, and purchased one of the actual aircraft. At the time of purchase, he intended to restore it to flying status. Preliminary investigation on my part leads me to declare that this goal is unlikely to be attained. It has been my experience that an aircraft's airworthiness is vastly improved when it does not have a tree growing through it.

-And last but not least, this entry shall serve as official public notice that I have declared myself the Mayor Of The Airport. A great deal of evidence supports my belief that I am entitled to this post, and the associated divine mandate to rule with an iron fist! First, I'm the senior pilot maintaining uninterrupted, physical residence on the airport property. Second, given the circumstances of my situation, I am in a perfect geographical position to survey my kingdom as well as oversee day-to-day operations in close proximity. Third, at the time of said declaration, I was unopposed in pursuit for Office Of The Mayor Of The Airport. Therefore by default, I hereby assume the office, and all honors, rights, privileges, and responsibilities entitled thereto.


("Hail To The Chief" plays upon my exit)

That is all.

Mayor Joe